So you've spent three years drinking, attending a handful of lectures and participating in 236 all nighters in order to complete assignments last minute. Then of course you have an amaaaaazing day graduating - its legit like a second birthday - milk it for all its worth - you're proving you have brains and honestly, especially in my case, it was something worth celebrating. Anyway, so now you've thrown that hat in the air, drank some champers and caught up with your uni bessies, it's likely you'll wake up the following morning feeling like you've hit a bit of a brick wall.. Rihanna quote - 'What Now?'.
Of course, you've grafted for three years (kind of) in a degree with the hope it's going to give you some advantage into your career choice or because you like the student NUS discount - Potato/patato - so I suppose naturally thats where you're looking for the next step. However, despite the feeling of being in full time work in a job/career that you love with security, progression and opportunities at your feet, jumping straight into this serious adult life stuff may not be for everyone. Don't get me wrong, I can't wait to get all grown up and serious at some point in my life but after 16 odd years of education, relationships and other life ruling responsibilities, my first thought after graduation was OH EM GEE I have no ties now. Nothing. Well I started a full time job in customer service to keep me going of course but I had no ties that couldn't disappear with 30 days notice. So this was it. This is what freedom feels like. I've waited so long. Dreamt many times of this moment when I was sat at my laptop for hours on end fighting the urge to use Wikipedia and eat 67 chocolate bars. So, why do I feel lost?
Not lost as in - 'Which way is home?' - or lost as in - 'Where's all my mates? - when you're stood dribbling over a burger at 3am on the streets of Plym - no the lost as in.. what next? Yes I have freedom, no ties, nothing holding me back from doing whatever I want, the world is literally (as cringey and cliche as it sounds) my oyster. Yet here I am sat everyday attempting to plan the next step for the future with absolutely no idea where to start. It's almost as if you have too much choice - like when you're 6 in a shop with your Nan and you're told you can have whatever you like - it's so hard. I've also found however that although when people start disappearing around you to roam the world or drown under a mortgage, despite it feeling as if they've got their plan sorted and you're just here like SHIT, what day is it? - it's also a great way to decipher what you want. Everybody is different, I am well aware of that and all want different things from life (this is not meant to be a therapy session honestly) so it's important to understand there isn't a right or wrong answer, it's just about planning what's best for you.
I looked (not literally) at people buying houses, settling down, having babies and realised 'naaaaa that's not for me yet'. Defo in the future, but right now the thought of mini gingers running around taking all my attention, money and food makes me want to have a breakdown. The thought however, of exploring different places, meeting new people and escaping the 9-5 grind (mines actually more like 11-7 but you get the jist) made me buzz with excitement. My sister, best friend and a few others were already off on their own adventures and their stories, pictures and advice made me realise this is 100% what I want to do next. Lets attempt to keep up at this no ties business - I have just signed up to a new gym but by the time I'm all sorted this should not be an issue - phew. So now I feel a little more inspired, sorted, motivated, here's my little steps to try and avoiding wandering around aimlessly post-grad hoping for something to fall at your feet:
1) Don't let the thought of 'The world is your oyster' overwhelm you. It's a positive thing and should excite you, not literally make you pick up 493 brochures from a travel agents and apply to be a newsagent in Kazakhstan.
2) Before you start to plan and think about what you want - accept that there is no right or wrong. Literally, you can do life whatever way you fancy, so just because Mildred from number 48 has her career sorted and is on £48,000 a year does not mean she's winning at life. As soon as you realise this, you're already in a much better place.
3) Don't dwell on other peoples journeys (see step number 2) however do use them to your advantage. So as I mentioned, people settling down was not something I aspired too however people travelling did excite me. Have a gander and see what makes you envious, imagine yourself doing it and see if it makes you want to vom with fear or excitement - it should be a good clue.
4) Once you're at this point and think right ' I want to go to Asia and live with the Elephants and become adopted by them just like Mowgli from the Jungle Book'. (Oh yeah - another tip - do not use Disney for inspo - I don't want to break hearts but it's not real life and as much as we want it to be - it's not a fairytale - soz not soz). Then the next step is to plan how you're going to get there. It's so easy to think 'I want to do this.. and this ...' but without a plan it's never going to happen.
5) Set a date, a goal, set up a savings account, give yourself something to work towards. As soon as something, no matter how small is booked or planned, it becomes so real.
So, I'm not saying this is the perfect way to sort your life out - nothing suits everybody. However from going through these motions - this is what helped me. Following these steps will not only motivate you to work hard and save but it also creates a positive, excited attitude where you'll be able to read the quote 'The world is your oyster' without shitting yourself.
Love M i c h a e l a x
